For My Own Sanity-I Write from Lack of Conversation
Lately, my life has been a lot like walking up stream in a very fast river, all of the resistance against me and my desired destination. The river is my life, the stones are emotion. The stones try to stop me by tumbling and tripping my feet and the water grabs on for dear life, trying to pull me with it. I keep regaining my balance only to be swept back again. The progress is slow, but it is progress. The destination is right ahead, but the journey to get there is taking some time.
Yesterday I realized the true reason I should keep going, and not give up. It took some time to convince him that things were going to be a certain way. Why do the rules change now? What made him pull his head out on that day? I guess it doesn’t really matter. Big Jerk! So, I let the guilt go, it isn’t my fault and has never been. My conscience is clear; I go on, walking in the water up stream. I’ll be there soon. I think I can see it now.
Yesterday I realized the true reason I should keep going, and not give up. It took some time to convince him that things were going to be a certain way. Why do the rules change now? What made him pull his head out on that day? I guess it doesn’t really matter. Big Jerk! So, I let the guilt go, it isn’t my fault and has never been. My conscience is clear; I go on, walking in the water up stream. I’ll be there soon. I think I can see it now.
posted by Mallisa at 4:21 PM
1 Comments:
Writing has always been a form of release for me. I have kept a journal for years, especially when I need someone to talk to, but dont have that luxury. So pen to paper it goes and away from me the emotions flow.
I am glad that you have welcomed me to come back here any time. Thank you very much. It is nice to read the thoughts of another person and find that there are similarities in the lives of the people you read about to ones own.
A comfort as rare as this can be most welcome in the dark hours of our lives. My life has been full of these 'Dark Hours' and am going through ti again, but bright side of it is I am familar with them enough that if I am not going through a dark hour then I have to wonder if there is something wrong.
No I am not a negative person, quite the opposite, but I have accepted that life is never what we want it to be and that we always have to make the best of what we have been given. "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade". I remember that poster in 7th grade in class on the wall, and thinking, what does it mean? I understood it, but didnt know how it applied to me.
Thanks again for welcoming me here and hope that we continue to post on each others lives.
BK
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