Love Fades Away, and The World Goes Grey

How do you break one heart to save another? How do you explain the choice at hand so that all will be right between two people who have been together for so long that it has become all they know? Stepping out into the unknown might be scary for me, but it is terrifying for him. What can I tell him to make him understand that it isn’t anyone’s fault; it is just simply the way things have occurred? When the spark of love and intimacy has died there seems to be no rekindling it. I know, I have tried for the last five years with no success. He can’t understand the difference between loving someone and being in love. How do I explain any of it to someone who can’t grasp the concepts of the words I am using? I am so frustrated! He begs and mopes all day long, looking at me through sad eyes. I can’t bear to see him like that. He can’t understand that while I may love him that doesn’t mean I want to live with him. How am I to go on day after miserable day pretending until my opportunity arrives? The smart little comments and pathetic attempts from him are infuriating! Half of the time I just want to strangle him and half the time I feel bad for him! I’ll go mad if I have to stay here. Everyone seems to have advice for my situation, but none of it has been of much help. The situation is such that I must wait. Not forever, though it seems that way to me now, but just until I can nail down a new job. Believe me I have been looking too. There are half a dozen jobs that I apply for each new day. I feel like I am stuck in a place where the light touches the dark, but it is neither day nor night. Everything has become gray in a world where all of the colors bleed into each other making everything a blur. Please let the end of the page be close!