Rage Calmly Grows, I Wait....

I can feel the rage swell in my stomach. It pulses with each new word. Every second is more verbal ammo for my arsenal. Boom, Boom, Boom. His words fire at me like bullets into the air. They no longer hurt. I’ve grown sadly accustomed to hearing the unintelligent barking. The rage burns in my chest like fire, warming my arms, and fists. I’m not a violent person, but he brings it out in me from some far off forbidden corner in my soul. The hate and anger grows as it feeds on its self. The hate feeds the anger; the anger feeds the rage and so on. How far will this go I wonder? It will inevitably get worse before it will get better. The cold emotionless stare is the only thing keeping me calm. If it weren’t for my ability to step out side the box and shut down, I wouldn’t be able to control it. My fist clenches and I bite down hard on my growing hate and disgust. He isn’t even talking to me. He is yelling at the television again. Like a mindless Zombie from a horror story, the screen holds his attention. More auditory stench rolls off of his tongue in a wave of profanity and cursing. His constant anger is like electricity in the air, static and hot. We’ve been over this before. I’ve asked and begged and demanded he stop. The cursing brings me back to my childhood, a world where a different angry man ruled with absolution. I was unable to stop my father. I can however, stop this one. It could be the last thing he sees tonight, the static flicker of the television. I could stop it all, and calm the night. I could, but like I said, I’m not a violent person. So I sit, and wait. It will come soon. That one moment I need to end it forever. I calmly sit and wait the fire rages on deep in side. No one even notices. It hasn’t risen to the surface yet. All things come in time. This will to. Hopefully the moment comes soon. Hopefully it comes before I just snap and take the closes blunt object to his head. The infuriating babble continues on, falling from his mouth in an endless cascade of meaningless and vulgar words. Hopefully he stops soon. He would if he knew. He should. But he doesn’t. So, I sit and wait, just a little longer.