Twist of Fate, Change in Weather.

The snow is drifting down out side of the window. Yesterday was sunny and warm, like spring lovely and bright. Today is cloudy and white like a gloomy dream. I guess you never can tell what the next day will bring. I thought I knew, I thought I understood. I was proven very wrong. How do you get used to the snow when you were preparing for spring? Twisted are the winds of the changing weather. Cruel is the hope of sunny days to come. It gives off just enough light to keep you dangling, only to freeze the ground the next day and squash all remaining rays of hope. They say the sun will shine again, and warmth and goodness will be had once more. I’m not so sure anymore. I’m not sure if I want to place my faith in that again. I’ve done my thinking on the present subject at hand. I’ve found myself angry and hurt, bitter and untrusting. How selfish it is to use such a reason. How removed from reality are the lying eyes of spring.

I break things...

Last wednsday I was driving home from work, and on the way up the hill, I seized my truck. Come to find out, I blew the head gasket, burnt a valve, and cracked the block. (I still owe 5K on this damn thing.) So I borrow my moms hippie van for a few days until I can get the money together to buy a new car. The second day I had it, I went to get into it, and it has a blown head gasket! Two cars in two days! My luck is great! So I find a great deal on a little car, it runs great, the next day I go to change the title over, and two minutes after I put the new plates on it, the car starts to steam! I know, from previous experience that the smell is engine coolant. Yep,, car number three in one week. So it's in the shop, I did talk the previous owner into paying for it, but it still makes me wonder. WTF? My friends all have a theory about me and the cars I've blown up this week. My sister even gave me a new Super Hero name! Anti-Auto Girl! Sweet! I'm not allowed to drive any of my friends cars until my car burning chapter has ended. My other friend sent me this CD, I'm not usually a huge country fan, but I thought you would all get a kick out of this one.

Artist/Band: Jo ErikaLyrics for Song:
I Break Things
Lyrics for Album: Erika Jo

I broke most of Mama’s dishes
She banned me from the kitchen
when I was a kidI tore Daddy’s truck to pieces
Left it in a heap that no mechanic could fix
You don’t believe me I can see you laughin’
But trust me I’m an accident waiting here to happen

[CHORUS]
Cause I break things
Anything I touchI just get around and then I’m bound to tear ‘em up
Yeah, I make things
Snap and fall apart
So if you wanna hold me boy, you’d better watch your heart
Cause I break things

You say I’m nothing you can’t handle
You’re tougher than enamel
Well baby we’ll seeI’m like a wrecking ball coming
You’re better off running
Bar away from me
Don’t get me wrong now baby I adore ya
It’s only right that I give you fair warning

[CHORUS]
Cause I break things
Anything I touchI just get around and then
I’m bound to tear ‘em upYeah, I make thingsSnap and fall apart
So if you wanna hold me boy, you’d better watch your heart
Cause I break things

Rain is wet
The desert is dry
That’s the way it’ll always be
Fire is hot
It’s dark at night
The sun comes up in the east

And I break things
Anything I touch
I just get around and then I’m bound to tear ‘em up
Yeah, I make things
Snap and fall apart
So if you wanna hold me boy, you’d better watch your heart
Cause I break thingsI break things


So you get the point....

Wish me luck. I need it.
M

Of Dragons and Writing....

It's rare to find someone in life that you can truly connect with. I seem to connect better with the keys of my laptop than I do with real people at times. Writing for me is almost like being a drug addict. Every time I get upset, depressed or stressed out, I find comfort in the clicking of the keys. I can't stop myself from pooring my ever hopeful heart out onto the mainstream of the internet for all to see. In life, as in my writing I find that I let things come right out, with out giving them much thought before hand. My best friends swear that they didn't make a filter for me. That little voice that tells you "Hey, you probably should shut up right about now". I don't seem to have it. I'm finding that it is hard for people to take. Especially those whom I try to get close to. My life seems to be a battle against being alone. I guess it's something the Dragon in me will have to learn to deal with. But you are always here for me, the unsuspecting passer by, my faceless audience. I always have you to turn to, and though you don't always let me know your there, I know. I think I'll write you something scary today, there is an odd chill in the air.

The Icing on the cake, or is that more rain?

I thought the sun had come back, but just as a ray of hope broke through the dark clouds, the rain came crashing down harder than ever. It seems like everything happens at the same time. The rain dampens everything it touches, and before you know it, your wet to the core and rushing for cover. Sometimes it seems like no matter how hard you try, you can’t stop the water from touching all of the things you don’t want ruined. I’ve been desperately trying to keep all of these things together, and all in the same week it seems like everything is falling apart. Things are breaking down around me. I feel like I’ve been soaked to the depths of my soul, and all of the important things around me are threatening to wash away.

I guess everyone has bad days, mine has been a bad month. So many things have gone so wrong in the last few weeks, I can't even imagine what could be next. I don't feel like it's over yet. The weather man said it's supposed to be sunny tomorow, but I think I'll bring an umbrella just in case.